- attending school on a day when a shooter opens fire; or
- being told they need to engage in a sexual act to get a job or stay employed.
- Get over it
- Set it aside
- Let it go
- Grow from it
- Don’t use it as an excuse
- Or my favorite and most recent one – don’t use it to make yourself significant.
By failing to recognize and honor victims, we are creating an environment where victim mindsets can flourish. When in a victim mindset, it is difficult to see opportunities for growth, change, or transformation. Part of the anecdote to this phenomenon is to give empathy when empathy is due. We need to stop our simple need to fix, and instead, allow people to share their experiences in ways that help them heal in whatever length of time is needed.
As leaders, we need to treat each situation for its unique characteristics and not broad brush all people as behaving a certain way. There will always be those few who take full advantage of circumstances, require a great deal of attention, or seem to assume harmful intent. There are also healthy people in the world who have growth mindsets who have been victimized. They deserve to heal without feeling silenced.
How can you help facilitate conversations that create empathy and awareness versus judgment and shame?
Follow the Conversation on LinkedIn