Recently, I had the opportunity to be part of a panel of Colorado coaches at a local chapter meeting. We discussed what it meant to have a generative and thriving practice. It was an opportunity to share tips and suggestions with others who are all trying to make sense of what it means to do the work we do in a way that matters.

Our conversations rarely touched on money – instead, we talked about the impact and value we bring to our clients.
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I have been in private practice since 2011 and the last eight years have taught me several things. All of them are similar to tending a garden.

• You often need a wheel barrow of crap to help your garden grow. Crap work is the stuff we wish we could avoid like administrative details, maintaining a social media presence, chasing invoices, scheduling, or networking. My wheel barrow may not look like yours, but we all have to fertilize and pull some weeds to get a garden to grow.
• You think you are growing perennials, but you only get one season of growth. I love tulips, and every spring I wonder if they will bloom. In one area of my yard, they do; but in an area that I tended with great care; they never reappeared. It is a reminder that I always need a variety of seeds in the soil so that some type of growth or work, is always occurring.

• Sometimes the plants in the neighbor’s yard start to grow in mine. Thanks to the networking efforts of birds and bees, I have beautiful bushes with purple blooms growing in spaces I did not actively create. This is true in practice as well; often our best work comes through the generosity of our colleagues. Stay in community and enjoy how your garden can benefit from someone else’s careful planting.
• Have a variety of flowers in your garden. It can be a bit boring only to have red petunias. True beauty comes in different heights, variation, and color. This requires some creativity and careful attention each season to what you plant. In practice, we cannot always assume that one client organization will always renew their contract. We need an assortment of small, medium, and large size connections that keep the garden mixed and diverse. If one bush starts to die off, it creates space for something else to grow.
• Last, not everything has to be a flower. Pumpkins can grow like crazy and so do strawberries (unless you have a black lab who believes everything in the yard is his salad. He once ate an entire zucchini patch). As the garden expands, you may want to rotate what you grow or perhaps add a walking path, fish pond, or some trees. Each of these can represent different parts of your practice that are significant.

You do not have to be a solopreneur for this garden metaphor to resonate. Relationships, projects, work streams, divisions, and responsibilities are all represented in your professional garden. As Spring descends, consider not only what you plant in your actual garden at home, but also your professional one.

Is your garden growth by design, or is it accidental? What needs pruning or watering? Where is the soil ready for something new?

Welcome to the funny things I heard in 2018. I started a list last year that landed in an end-of-year blog. I think this idea will stay a tradition because some of this stuff needs to be documented. I have scrubbed the politics out entirely – so you do not need to wear a Doggie Thunder Vest to read. Enjoy!

I can’t get the voice out of my head. It’s like living with Voldemort before he got his body. You know, when he was still attached to that little dude’s head.
 
Oh, I know who you are talking about. He’s that guy that got fired for farting.
 
My dog has a lot of time on his hands.
 
I’m starting to feel like Randall in This is Us.
 
I feel like Flo in that Progressive insurance commercial. “Where’s my price gun?”
 
Do not Forrest Gump me.
 
It’s like that scene from the Purge?  Did you see it?  Oh, well, don’t; it’s horrible.  But it’s like that scene when that chick says, ‘Little Death is back.’
 
I just can’t please ‘em.  I could give them front row tickets to Hamilton, and they would just pee on them and then rip them to shreds - after the pee dried.
 
The world would be a better place if all the yellow Starbursts just disappeared.
 
I have so much going on. My husband is in Austin traveling for work, so I have to manage the kids by myself, and last night my dog ate a diaper. It was dirty.
 
I’m tired of all the administrivia.
 
This year has been craptastic!
 
I need snacks – stat!
 
Let’s not weaponize coaching.
 
Why is a hand basket always involved when someone is headed to hell?
 
Wednesday is a wound around the corner.
 
Am I the only one on the planet who doesn’t know their MBTI code?  I took a different assessment, and it said I was an antelope.  So, there’s that.
 
When I say everything that is in my head, it all just goes to hell.
 
Frustrated is my new ‘F’ word.  I have two ‘F’ words now.  They are interchangeable.
 
When did coming to work dirty become a thing?  Did you know that’s a thing?  Why is this a thing now?
 
What do I have to do?  Give back the blood of my enemies?  Well, no...  I’m not giving that blood back.
 
Me:  What is top of mind for you as we end this coaching session?
Other person:  I can’t stop thinking about how giraffe don’t have upper front teeth.
Me:  [Sigh]… Let’s try this again.
 
I wish people would stop saying, “to make a long story short” cause it’s never short. Do you have a training to help people make it short?
 
Do you ever accidentally kick your own leg and cut yourself with your big toe nail? That was my morning.
 
The meeting next door has better food; I stole a potato when no one was looking.
 
Stop whining, or I swear I won’t buy you the Crazy Cat Lady action figure. 
 
…Um, yes, the Crazy Cat Lady action figure is a thing. I was certain I heard it wrong, but it’s real – I Googled it. 
 
What a year my friends - and it is not over yet! It will be earmarked in our history books forever. I’m fairly sure if we had a quarter for every social media slur, swear, or insult, we might be able to pay off most the U.S. national debt. And yet, there is also goodness to be found in being human. Tucked away in the course rhetoric of 2018, there are verbal gems from people just like us trying to get Starbucks or make sense of their day, life, and leadership.
 
Happy Holidays and cheers to all the clever and crazy things people say!