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Who are you Amplifying?

10/23/2018

 
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My family loves movies! We are nerdy to the point of putting notes on our calendars when a beloved film, seen on the big screen, is coming out on DVD/Blu-ray. The date it arrives in stores, we make a special trip to Target and then watch it soon after from home. We like to own our favorite flicks. We also do not just watch them over and over - we turn on all needed sound systems, and the movie is amplified all over the house.

Amplification is the process of increasing the volume. When something cannot be heard, we plug it into a system that amplifies the sound. We can also amplify the voices of our colleagues.

One of my friends and colleagues Dr. Kerry Mitchell, sent me an article written by Claire Landsbaum about the shine theory – ‘if you don’t shine, I don’t shine.’ It was an article about the female staffers in the Obama administration and what they did to ensure female voices were heard.
Female staffers adopted a meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point, other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the idea as their own.
​

‘We just started doing it and made a purpose of doing it. It was an everyday thing,’ said one former Obama aide who requested anonymity to speak frankly. Obama noticed, she and others said, and began calling more often on women and junior aides.
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​Two simple things resonate from this article!
  1. Repeat the person’s name! Often ideas are born, discussed, modified, and tweaked until the person who originally had the suggestion is no longer associated with its birth. When a female has a good idea, it is often lost and reclaimed by men at the table. To amplify someone’s voice, be sure to acknowledge that person by name!
  2. Repeat the idea! When you associate the idea with the person who came up with it and repeat it as a good idea – you amplify that person’s voice!
This concept of amplification may seem simple, but I have been to a lot of meetings where great ideas are shared, and no one responds. Perhaps it is a habit, competition, cultural norms, or a matter of only speaking when called. It is a generous act of leadership to amplify a person by name, repeat a good idea, and give credit. It does not take a vast speech or a lot of context; it can be a few simple words to help someone shine. Sometimes simple things make a big difference!

Who will you amplify in your next meeting?
References:
https://www.annfriedman.com/shine-theory/
https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/heres-how-obamas-female-staffers-made-their-voices-heard.html

Photo by Courtney Clayton on Unsplash
Photo by Oleg Laptev on Unsplash

The Strange

5/15/2018

 
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It is an interesting word, ‘strange’ and one we probably use on a regular if not daily basis. When something should work (like our WIFI) but for some reason does not, we call it strange. When we go to a place we have never been, and it feels awkward or uncomfortable, we may describe it as strange.

Strange suggests something is surprising or unsettling – difficult to understand. It also implies foreign or unusual. If appropriately used as an adjective, we are describing something as unfamiliar. However, we also use the term in derogatory ways. We call people strange when perhaps they are just strangers.

As a noun, there are at least three ways to view strangers. The first as a danger – we warn our children of stranger danger and to not go with someone they are not familiar. The second version of a stranger is a foreigner who is new to our parts. When people move to the U.S. from another country, they are newcomers – they are strangers. The last meaning is when we use ‘stranger’ to describe someone’s behavior. For instance, “She is no stranger to drama.” Meaning, she is darn accustomed to conflict.

The word itself can be used in multiple ways and various contexts and yet we have become somewhat homogeneous in our views and perspective of the ‘stranger.’ They are someone to be wary of, to avoid, to question, …to judge. We sometimes call the ‘other’ strange and then avoid.

I had a meeting with a client recently who shared with me that he was drawn back to the teachings of the Torah. These are the first five books of the Bible, also considered the Pentateuch. These early texts describe the origin of the Jewish peoplehood and their covenant with God. The Torah mentions at least 36 times how to treat strangers – the overriding lesson is to treat them with empathy.
You shall not wrong nor oppress the stranger, for you were strangers in the Land of Egypt (Exodus 22:20).
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The world stage is giving us many opportunities to question and consider our views of strangers.
  • Are we open to new people?
  • What is at risk by showing empathy?
  • What do we lose if we refuse to treat strangers with kindness?
  • Where are we considered strangers?

There are cute and pithy statements about strangers all over the internet. Here are a few based on a quick Google search. The words seem accurate enough.
  • Remember that every good friend was once a stranger
  • A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face
  • Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends

Words are beautiful, but it is our actions that determine our real feelings and intentions when it comes to strangers. Who gets our smiles? Who gets our eye-contact? Who receives the return phone call or email? How long do we treat people we do not know as foreign or dangerous before we shift into something friendlier? Ultimately, who gets our empathy?
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As I write and post this blog, I am wrestling with these questions myself.

What about you?
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    Carrie Arnold, PhD, MCC, BCC

    Carrie Arnold, PhD, MCC, BCC

    In no particular order: Author | Dog mom to Moose | Speaker | Reader  Mom to human offspring  Wife | Lover of Learning Leadership coach & consultant, The Willow Group | Fellow, Institute for Social Innovation | Program Director for Evidence-Based Coaching at Fielding Graduate University 

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