My family loves movies! We are nerdy to the point of putting notes on our calendars when a beloved film, seen on the big screen, is coming out on DVD/Blu-ray. The date it arrives in stores, we make a special trip to Target and then watch it soon after from home. We like to own our favorite flicks. We also do not just watch them over and over - we turn on all needed sound systems, and the movie is amplified all over the house.
Amplification is the process of increasing the volume. When something cannot be heard, we plug it into a system that amplifies the sound. We can also amplify the voices of our colleagues.
One of my friends and colleagues Dr. Kerry Mitchell, sent me an article written by Claire Landsbaum about the shine theory – ‘if you don’t shine, I don’t shine.’ It was an article about the female staffers in the Obama administration and what they did to ensure female voices were heard.
Female staffers adopted a meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point, other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the idea as their own.
Two simple things resonate from this article!
Who will you amplify in your next meeting?
Important Consumer Note: If your laptop, printer, router, cable box, or smartphone is broken (facepalm), I feel your pain! But please note – this article is not going to help with your technology issues (rats).
I tend to write my blogs based on themes that emerge from my coaching and consulting practice. This past month I have seen a trend of clients talking about the need to repair broken relationships. They are curious about the best way to approach someone to restore something they believe has been compromised. For those wrestling with something similar, it may be helpful to understand the distinction between repairing a relationship versus hitting the reset button.
To repair a relationship suggests some wrong needs to be made right. There needs to be a discussion about what was said or done with the objective of apologizing, forgiving, rebuilding trust, and moving on. However, when teams want to do this work together, within a full-day meeting, I start to sweat (gulp). It is hard to keep the collective conversation from creating more wrongs. Often what is brought up can be unfiltered and tends to cause additional damage and resentment. We can spend precious hours admiring all the microaggressions we have passed back and forth in our professional relationships.
Instead, I try to get my clients to acknowledge the power of hitting the reset button. This means naming that relationships have not been optimal between people or parties for different reasons. Often people hold different positions that cause tension. There could be elements of ingroup versus outgroup dynamics that result in people feeling excluded. Sometimes, there is a long history of climate issues that leave people feeling devalued or unheard. Often relationships are threatened more by system issues than by the individuals themselves. When this is the case, repair is probably not the answer. Instead, a commitment to resetting the standards of professional engagement is the needed first step.
When someone asks for a reset, the following need to be present.
Sometimes a reset is far too simple and professional relationships need more in-depth repair work (like going back versus forward and sharing context to seek restoration). Before you dive into that work – try the reset approach first. It may be precisely what is needed and can save you time and precious energy.
What professional relationships need a reset?
Carrie Arnold, PhD, MCC, BCC
In no particular order: Author | Dog mom to Moose | Speaker | Reader Mom to human offspring Wife | Lover of Learning Leadership coach & consultant, The Willow Group | Fellow, Institute for Social Innovation | Program Director for Evidence-Based Coaching at Fielding Graduate University